Episode 32: Four Quick Tips to Manage Stress in the Moment

Welcome to the Beauty of Better podcast, where we help moms thrive in health and faith.

Hello, Beauty of Better mamas.

This is Cristiana here today, and we wanna just kick off a topic for you, just kind of giving you some practical tips as fall comes with a lot of changes and maybe some stress of just kind of how to navigate that stress in this season that you might be having some unexpected things or maybe you expected things and just give you some of our favorite practical tips.

So we're gonna kind of narrow down like three or four of our favorite ones.

And Danielle, did you wanna kick it off with yours?

Sure.

You know, I just feel like when you're in the moment and you know, maybe school started or something's new at work or you have family changes, like fall comes with a lot of changes.

And it's like, what can you do in the moment?

And I think one of my favorite tips is to just get moving.

So movement.

So it doesn't have to be like exercise at the gym or like a full blown workout.

Like if you're in your office and something stressful happens, it's like, hit pause, go outside at least 10 minutes, try to get 20 minutes of just like walk and move.

And getting your body moving helps take it out of that fight or flight, helps take it out of that stress-inducing environment, and really helps reset your body so that you can just pause, reset, and then refocus.

So I just think movement is my number one.

And again, it doesn't have to be gym.

It could be walking, it could be in your office.

But just physically moving your body helps take it out of that stressful mode.

So I think that's one of my number one in the moment tips when I feel stressed.

Yeah, I think one for myself.

I definitely love movement.

And my preference is always to get exercise, but that's sometimes not always practical in the moment when you have that automatic stressor or when life is just maybe a little fuller than normal.

So for me, one thing that helps in the moment is that deep breathing, right?

So actually, when you're exercising, your breathing patterns change.

So tying in to that there.

But with the deep breathing, you really want to work on engaging your diaphragm.

So I do this exercise with my kids, with my students, where you put your hands like a cup on your rib cage, and you have to feel the pressure of your diaphragm expanding and putting pressure on those front fingers as you're...

Should we all try this as you're saying?

Yeah, yeah.

As people are listening to the podcast, as we're listening, I think we should all try it together.

Should we try that?

Okay.

So the diaphragm is moving.

I'm going to adjust my camera so you can kind of see where, what placement on your rib cage is going to be.

So let me adjust this a little bit.

And just describe it for people who maybe can't see or don't watch on YouTube.

Okay.

Maybe I'll describe it.

So if I put my hands up here, I think it's going to make sense.

So kind of right under, we're ladies here.

So right under where that bra strap would fit is where we would typically place your hands.

And so it's kind of like a cup, like you're holding a glass of water, maybe like this, and then you just put that directly on your rib cage.

And then we're going to inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth.

And it can be a three count or five count, like depending on, you know, that's typically what I do.

So I would go inhale, one, two, three, and exhale, one, two, three.

And then we're going to focus for these first three breaths.

We're going to do nine breaths total.

First three are going to focus on putting that pressure on this front part of your hand.

So the first three will be here.

The next three will be on the curve of your hand, and the last three will be on your thumb, right?

So we'll do a total of nine breaths together, and I'll count that in one, two, three, out one, two, three for all of us.

You guys ready?

Okay.

So we've got our hands in other cups, so I'm gonna actually stick it on my ribcage and do it with you ladies.

Okay, so in, and exhale.

That's one, inhale.

Exhale, that's two.

Inhale.

Exhale, that's three.

I got three more.

Inhale.

Four.

Can't rush this, right?

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

You're feeling the curve right now.

Exhale.

Sometimes I close my eyes.

Last three, that thumb.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Two more.

Inhale.

Feel that thumb.

Exhale.

Last one.

Deepest breath.

Inhale.

And exhale.

Okay.

So I know on here, it might have been easier just to do one or two for the sake of time, but really, the more that you can engage that diaphragm.

I tell my kids and my students, if they get a stressful news at school, or they're stressed with a question on a test, that you don't have to put your hands on your rib cage to do this.

You can, in that moment, do your deep inhale and do your deep exhale.

And no one's really going to know or see that you're doing that, and you don't have to escape somewhere to go calm down.

That's just a technique that you can use while you're driving, in a meeting, or even with challenging things happening, maybe in your home.

But I try to keep mine to a minimum of nine breaths.

Sometimes it's three, if I have to give a reply to something like that, but really just picturing, putting pressure on the front fingers, the curve of your hand, and the thumb.

So if I do three, it would be my front, then my curve, then my thumb, if I'm just keeping it.

So one of each.

Yeah, one of each.

I think that's so helpful, and I feel like one thing we could do with this episode is each of these tips that we have aren't just our favorites, but they're scientifically proven.

And so maybe we could upload some of those articles that show the actual benefits.

And what I really love about this is that it's just so simple, right?

Where it's like, you can just literally sit there and change your breathing patterns and pause and focus on that for less than a minute, right?

And see a difference in your stress.

And so I feel like anytime we can have really practical tips that just help us pause and reset our bodies, it's so, so helpful, and we love science, so.

Yeah, I think physiology is by far one of my favorite topics.

And so if there's something, you know, when you have a child, right, and whether you have drugs or no drugs, and I've done both ways, right, they tell you to breathe, right?

And that's one of our most painful experiences that a woman may go through physiologically, physically, in our bodies, and they tell us to breathe.

So if we're supposed to breathe in those moments, maybe some of these other stressors are also opportunities to practice actual patterned deep breathing as well too.

That's so good.

Love that.

Okay, so I'm going to talk about two other ways.

So movement and deep breathing are awesome ways that can help us calm down in the moment.

And the third way that I tend to use a lot, especially when it can really be done anywhere.

It's pretty easy to do.

It's just humming or singing.

And if I'm at home with my kids and they are going crazy, that's something I can do just like quietly to myself.

And what that does is it stimulates that vagus nerve and helps activate that parasympathetic nervous system, that rest and digest system to help you feel more calm.

And it's very helpful for mood regulation.

So if you just feel like, okay, maybe, you know, I've tried deep breathing and that sort of helped, but I need something I can kind of do is I'm like going about my day or maybe you're answering like a stressful email and you can just kind of like calm yourself in the background.

That's a really simple, easy way that can be used to kind of help regulate stress in the moment that I personally use all the time.

So that's another one.

Do you think that we could really quick just break it down?

Like, I know that the that our team kind of uses parasympathetic and sympathetic and vagus nerve like in regular talk, but maybe not everybody remembers back to their science days.

If we could just go through, what does that mean?

And like, why do we talk about that?

And what are we trying to do with that, with these techniques?

Absolutely.

So your nervous system, you have your...

It's basically controlling how your body responds to things.

So we have different ways that we respond.

And when we tend to feel stress, there's things that happen, like, our heart rate tends to go up, our blood pressure goes up, we start to sweat, our lungs tend to get cramping, things like that are all indicators that your body is going into something called fight or flight, right?

Like, if you had a choice, you would either, like, stay in fight or run away, because you're starting to get stressed out about something.

And those responses are part of something called the sympathetic nervous system.

So, when you're stressed, your sympathetic nervous system is what's activated in your body, and you have these natural, physiological responses that occur.

And so, when we feel those, there are things that we can do to help stimulate, kind of like, two sides to a coin.

It's a good thing that your body responds that way, because it helps to be safe.

But sometimes we don't want to be in chronic stress, right?

That's not good for your health to be constantly in that parasympathetic state.

And so, sometimes we wanna activate the opposing side of the coin, which is your parasympathetic nervous system, also known as your rest and digest piece.

So, things that we can do to activate that piece are going to help bring our blood pressure down, slow our heart rate down.

So, that's why things like controlling your breathing and taking even like a slow walk are going to help you activate that piece of your nervous system.

And really, that's what's gonna help you relax.

If it's gonna help reduce your heart rate, that's probably gonna activate the parasympathetic.

If it's helping your heart rate go up, that's probably activating the sympathetic.

That's kind of an easy way to remember it.

So, sometimes it's good, right?

To activate that sympathetic.

Like when we exercise, our heart rate goes up.

We're technically stressing our body in that moment, but then we want to come back down from that.

We don't want to have our heart rate constantly elevated all day long.

And as working moms, we all know that sometimes at work, there are just moments that have a lot more stress in them or we come home and then we have to transition from being on at work to being on at home.

And there can be just a few after transition times and places where we can use these, like, I need something I can do in the moment to help me calm down.

So does that explain it in a simple way?

Yeah, no, that's so good.

I'm just going to jump in with the vagus nerve really quick because I think we might mention that a few times.

And, you know, I remember this in Anatomy and Physiology in a cadaver lab I had.

It was shocking to see the vagus nerve.

It's literally your longest nerve, and it runs along the right side of your body, like, starting in your brain.

And it really connects so many involuntary parts of your body.

So think of, like, your heart rate, your breathing, just, like, how your pulse, like, all of that, like, works, digestion, things that just happen in your body that you don't intentionally do, although some of them you can, right?

Like, you can control your breathing, but it happens whether or not you're thinking about it.

And so when we talk about stimulating the vagus nerve or the vagus nerve helping us change our stress, right?

That's, like, what Kelsey said with humming, like, that's what you're stimulating, because your vagus nerve is what's connecting your breathing, your heart rate, all of that to your brain.

And so when you interrupt what's happening on its own, you're helping reset it.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, it's really, it's really quite cool, like, that, you know, all of the nerves that run through your, like, your vocal cords, and how those are connected to the vagus nerve, and just, like, literally humming something can help, like, bring your stress down.

So it's just really a nice, a nice little tool to put in the toolbox.

I even think of, like, you put on a worship song or just, like, calming music and, like, sing along with it, and just, like, that act of, like, being vocal with it can really make such a difference.

Yeah, I think that's a, that's an extra bonus piece, I feel like, we have as Christian moms, where, you know, you can turn on a worship song, and that's, like, you can just enter into a different headspace with that, and you can sometimes handily feel the Holy Spirit with just turning on a worship song, and then you're humming, and maybe, for me, it helps my kids calm down, too, sometimes, depending on a calm worship song that they like.

The key word being that they like, but, yeah, I mean, you know, you get to control the auxiliary cord in the car and in your house, so, yeah, that's something that can be really helpful.

But the last tip that I tend to use, too, is just cold exposure.

And I'm not talking about doing, like, a cold plunge.

Like, that could probably be a whole different episode on the benefits of cold exposure.

But just in the moment, like, splash some cold water on the face, or, like, put an ice cube on your neck, or something like that.

And that just triggers, again, that vagus nerve, helps reduce your heart rate.

And that's a really practical thing you can do.

Like, maybe it's a cold washcloth, something that's just cold.

And this helps that, reduce that acute stress, or that, like, panicked feeling that you might feel if you're just having more anxiety that day, or something like that.

So, the four things we said, right, were walking, or movement, and deep breathing, humming, or singing, and then cold exposure.

So, hopefully, one of them is new to you, and you can try it, and it could help you kind of reduce that stress in the moment.

I think all of us here at Beauty of Better understand that stress is a part of daily life, and it's a part of our life.

I think we can take our mom to work, and we juggle a lot of things on our place.

I think it's something we can pass on to our kids, too.

Absolutely.

We can be teaching our kids these very, very simple things, because I feel like school has never been so stressful for them.

This just feels like a really different season, and to be able to equip them with those skills in the moment to say like, hey, move if you can get up out of your seat, like ask to go to the bathroom, or just pause and let me teach you how to do these deep breaths, or start humming, or splash cold water on yourself.

I think if we can learn this for ourselves, and then pass it on to our kids and even our spouses, what a place we could make our homes where we're all encouraging each other to step out of stress, and really just pause together and reset our bodies, and understanding the physiology behind it too.

I think it's just such a powerful, powerful tool in such simplified ways.

I think, I know, Danelle, you take your family on walks pretty regularly, so I know that you're applying that.

I know for my kids, I'm thinking, breathing, the one time that I really had them use that is, my girls had to get a blood draw.

And one of them was okay, nervous, but okay, but the other one was having a really hard time with it.

And I was like, just blow out the birthday candles.

Just keep blowing out the birthday candles.

You don't have to look at it.

And teaching them, put diaphragmatic breathing, they don't understand that necessarily, depending on their age, but that simple, like, okay, how many birthday candles can you blow out?

We can take these tips and simplify that a bit.

But I'm curious, Kelsey, have you done any cold exposure with your kids?

I know that you mentioned the humming, they kind of catch on.

Have you done that with them?

Yeah, sometimes we do, sometimes we'll, like, splash water.

Okay.

Yeah, I'll, like, grab, we'll mostly do it in the sink, or outside with the hose.

I was going to say, I can see my youngest getting the hose, and it could get out of control.

Yeah, yeah.

I love the hose.

So, yeah, sometimes, I think that's a really good point, too.

They just learn through modeling, right?

So, even if you, well, you have to be really aware of all the things that you're doing, because they're going to pick it up whether you want them to or not.

So, something we can actively do is just model these tips.

But yes, we have tried the water, or even just putting it in a bowl with some ice cubes, and then it's like, blow the bubbles, and stick your face in the bowl, because they know how to do that from 20.

So, they're like, oh, okay, it's just cold.

And actually, I have done, this is kind of a different thing, but I have done cold plunges with my four-year-old.

He popped in for a minute, or something like that, because he'd seen mommy doing it.

And I used to do it in, when we lived in Southern California, we had a pool, and in the winter time, it would get cold, like, I don't know, 60, 58 degree water.

And so, I would hop in there, and he would see me doing that.

And I would say, yeah, mommy just, you know, doing a little cold plunge.

And I was like, it's just cold water, buddy.

Like, it's literally just cold water.

And he's like, I want to try.

So, he got in for like 30 seconds, and it was really sweet.

But, yeah, I think from this end of the day to day, using like the faucet or putting water in a bowl with ice and popping your face in it really can help you.

Even as we're talking, I'm thinking like, yes, we go for family walks and talk about health, like our family values are on the dinner table.

But I think, you know, my boys love learning why.

They're very inquisitive, and they always want to know like, well, why would I do this?

And why is this good?

And I feel like maybe that's going to be our conversation tonight at dinner, when we talk about health, is like, this is why.

And I feel like they're old enough now where they can understand the physiology behind it more.

And so maybe that's going to be our new dinner table conversation tonight.

So yeah.

Oh, well, mamas, we just thank you for joining us today.

We hope that you got at least one new tip that you can try to really help you step out of a stressful moment and have practical tips, and we just pray that this blesses you, and we know that this will reach the generations as you model for your children.

We hope today you got to take one small step to find the beauty in becoming better.

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