Episode 7: The power of gratitude

Welcome to the Beauty of Better Podcast, where we help moms thrive in health and faith.

Hi, mamas.

We're so glad that you're here today.

Today, we're gonna talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart, and it is gratitude.

And we're just gonna take some time to all chat through, you know, the biblical stance on gratitude and what we're called to do as Christians, but then also we're gonna bring in the science and what does science say about gratitude and what does it do to our bodies?

And then we're all just gonna share some tips of, like, what we do at home to grow a culture of gratitude within ourselves, within our marriages, within our kids, and just as a family and just hopefully there's some tips that you can take away from this.

But I just wanted to open us up today with a verse, verse Thessalonians 5 verses 16-18, and it just says, Rejoice always and delight in your faith.

Be unceasing and persistent in prayer.

In every situation, no matter the circumstances, be thankful and continually give thanks to God, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

And I feel like there's a lot to unpack there, but just this mindset of rejoicing always, being in prayer always, I feel like that's something that we can do wherever we are, but being continually thankful and have gratitude.

And I feel like that's what I want us to talk about today, not in a sense of toxic positivity or like ignoring other emotions.

But this is one of the few places in the Bible where it specifically says, this is the will of God for you.

There's not many topics where you can read in the Bible and it says this is God's will for your life, right?

There's a lot of things that you have to read into and pray about, but it does say, this is the will of God, that you would continually give thanks in all circumstances, regardless of what's happening.

And so how do we have that posture as moms and as Christians, where we can live in a place of gratitude, also see the health benefits from it, but just train our families in that way as well, and just learn to feel our emotions, to experience pain, to experience suffering, but to also see what we can be grateful for in the process.

And I think step one is like coming from a place of humility, of like we're not our own, we're bought at a price, but also like we came into the world with nothing and we're leaving with nothing.

And so literally every little detail of our lives is a gift, and having that perspective.

And I've mentioned before, but I travel a lot, and I feel like one of the things that always hits me so hard at my core, especially when I travel to very remote areas with lack of care and water and electricity, is when I land in the airport, I realize I can go to Starbucks and get tap water, and it's clean.

Like, I'm not going to get a parasite, and I don't have to worry about getting a parasite.

And so it's like this gratitude for clean water starts to well up in me, where I'm just so grateful that I can drink water.

And I'm not worried about like, oh, what custom drink am I going to order today?

But it's just like, wow, thank you God that I have clean water available to me where I live right now.

And thank you that I have toilet paper in the bathroom and that it's free to go into and I don't have to pay for it.

And I could keep going on and on and on, especially when I return after trips and it's just like fresh in my mind.

But I just wanted to pass it off.

Maybe Kathleen will go to you next, but just to share maybe your thoughts on this biblically, and then we can circle background with some science and just what we do with our own families.

Yes.

Yeah.

Well, I did just want to share a verse that God had spoken to me about.

As a mama, often our kids are always on our mind.

And at times, I was like worrying about stuff with my kids.

And then one day as I was reading in God's word, I just came across Philippians 4.6 and it says, be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God.

And what I felt in that, I was like, well, that's really interesting, just that thanksgiving would be thrown in there.

And what I felt like God just say to me is like, you know, it's important to come to him with these worries or these cares that are on our mind.

But what he was saying is, you know, when you come with a posture of thanksgiving, it's speaking out who you know God to be, despite what's going on.

So for instance, you know, we have felt called to having our kids in public school.

And there's different challenges with that.

And, you know, but yet I felt like God just say, okay, speak out in thankfulness who you know me to be, and then ask for what you need about your kids.

And so what I started doing is I started saying, okay, God, I thank you that you are our protector.

I thank you that you say you are a fortress around us.

And I said, Lord, would you protect my kids when they go to school?

Would you guard their hearts and their minds?

Would you only let in your like truth from you?

And would you guard their ears from things that just aren't from you?

And so that really like that changed my posture and how I prayed.

When I started from that place of Thanksgiving, it focused my mindset on who God is rather than on my fears and my anxieties.

And that just helped, like it literally changed everything for me.

And so even when like crying over like my kid's sicknesses, I say like, Lord, thank you that you are the healer.

Thank you that you're healing my kids, whether it's right away or whether it takes time.

And you just start with that posture of Thanksgiving.

And so that's been something in our house that has really changed things, and it's helped me to be more calm and just remember who God is.

Yeah, I think gratitude has so many ties just deep into our bodies and who we are and how we engage.

In our home, we have a couple of ways that we practice that, which we'll get into a little bit, but just kind of some of the science side of things of how this posture of gratitude can impact you, it actually can reduce your stress levels because you're really seeing there's a God who's bigger, more powerful and greater and can handle these heavy loads that we're carrying.

And so recognizing and acknowledging that as you're bringing those requests can bring decreased stress.

There's a few other things.

I'm just going to be general, and then I think Danielle is going to share some specifics with this, but actually scientifically has been proven to improve brain function.

So I know in a time where we're feeling crunched, both maybe family, professionally and we're trying to be efficient and productive, brain function is important, but having that shift of like, I'm glad that I have flexibility of the Internet to be able to do my job on the go or at home or at work, and I have that.

It helps with longevity and decrease risk for chronic diseases.

I know my heart with prevention is a lot tied to disease reduction, and so that's something that resonates deep with me.

Also, tied with that improved brain function, it actually increases that efficiency and that work output.

So if we're like, okay, God, I only have 24 hours today, and I need to be efficient, but my family needs me and my job needs me, and you know what you have before me, like that posture of gratitude can do that.

And then the last piece that I'll just highlight is the memory and ability to process, which is so critical.

So when we are juggling multiple tasks of just like, okay, what do I need to do for my family today?

What do we need to do to be able to get this product out for work?

And so that tiny shift, that simple change of like, hey, I'm grateful that I have a job.

I'm grateful that there is some measure of flexibility, that it's something that I love and that I can engage and impact others.

So those are just a couple of tiny things that gratitude will eventually affect our physical bodies as well.

That's so good.

Yeah, I feel like a lot of this is just really perspective shifts, which thankfully we can control that, right?

We can look at new ways to think of things and just practice it so it becomes a habit.

I was even thinking, you know, a lot of times we make our to do list for the day and it's like, I have to go grocery shopping.

I have to prepare dinner.

I have to exercise today.

And it's like, what if we just thought of it as, I get to go grocery shopping.

Like, I actually have multiple grocery stores that I can choose from with multiple healthy options.

And I have an income so I can afford to go buy groceries.

Like, what a gift that is in this season of life.

And I get to cook dinner for my family.

I get to help them learn how to eat healthier foods and provide for them.

And I get to exercise.

What a gift, right?

Like, that I could actually carve out 20 minutes of my day or a half hour of my day and have that time to be stronger and healthier.

And I just think it's like little perspective shifts from like, I have to do something to like, I get to do something.

Like, what a gift that life is.

And I think we just get in routines and take things for granted that we shouldn't take for granted.

And Kathleen, I loved what you said, even just opening prayers like that and saying thank you, God, because I feel like whatever the circumstance is, is it changes our lens, right?

It changes to focus on who God is and who he says he is.

And then it kind of minimizes, right?

Like what's happening where it's like, oh, yeah, God, like you're a protector.

Like, and as I'm saying this, I'm remembering that.

And I'm having a deeper faith in that.

And it's shifting the way that I'm thinking.

Yes, I feel like a lot of this is just perspective shifts.

And I love that there's science behind it.

I love that people want to research this and prove it, because we take the Bible for its word, but I just love when science complements that, right?

And Christiana, you pointed out such great health benefits from it.

There was one study that I just wanted to touch on, and it just felt so profound for me because it was so simple.

And these researchers were looking at gratitude and the impact of gratitude on our mental health and our physical health.

And all they did was they created three groups, and the first group, they just had to write a gratitude journal, and they had to write a gratitude journal for 10 weeks, right?

So two months, two and a half months, not very long.

The second group was the control group, and they had to do a journal for 10 weeks also, but just write about whatever they wanted.

It was neutral.

And then the third group was the negative group.

And so they, for 10 weeks, had to write about their frustrations and what was happening that was negative.

And at the end of that 10 weeks, the gratitude group had lower anxiety, lower depression, lower episodes of shortness of breath, improved pain.

So there were just all these health benefits that came out of a gratitude journal, and everything else remained the same in their lives, right?

Like they didn't take extra medication to make them happy or anything like that.

And it was just incorporating gratitude in an intentional way.

And it doesn't have to be journal for an hour.

It could be just write one thing down per day, like pause for a moment and focus on one thing that you're thankful for.

And I think we're going to all just share some things that we do in our families to just give some tips for that, because I just feel like it's building a new habit.

It's not natural.

It is natural to be surrounded by culture that says, like, you're not enough.

You don't have enough.

You need more.

And it's like, oh, wait, like, I don't, like, what else do I need?

I feel insecure about this.

And it's like, oh, wait, you have so much.

And like, what is your perspective of life and how you see things as a gift?

And so I'd like us to just go around and just share, like, how are we trying to work on this in our own families and with our kids and shaping perspectives?

Yeah.

I'll go ahead and just share something that I've noticed, especially when it comes to social media.

Like you were talking about Danielle, just the messages that are portrayed to us all around.

Like, I literally have hundreds of pop-up ads of like, your kids should be on this multivitamin, you need to have this skincare product, this and this and this.

It's like constantly bombarding us with like what we don't have and should have and need to have right now.

And I realized like it's such a trap that like, I don't know, even my husband recognized it in me that like I was starting to like be a little bit kind of more negative.

And I was like, why, like why am I being more negative?

And he's like, have you been on social media more?

And I was like, oh yeah, I have actually.

And without even realizing it, it's like these subliminal messages like tell you like, you're not satisfied.

You're not like happy where you're at because you don't have this product or you won't have young enough looking skin and people won't accept you if you don't have this product.

It's like all these kinds of messages that communicate to us dissatisfaction.

And so by having like a gratitude journal or just like kind of being counter cultural and just saying, no, I'm going to take a break from this.

I'm going to set some time aside and focus on, okay, what are the good things going in my life?

And, you know, something that like God's really shown me is just like I've been fascinated about like all the different aspects of like getting food to our table.

You know, we so often want to have this beautiful bowl presented on like Instagram of like, this is how I eat.

And isn't it amazing?

But like the reality of like, God gave people gifts to know how to plant seeds and to farm and the manufacturing processes to get it to our table.

And I'm like, I'm fascinated about like how, you know, that whole process works and just taking a moment to pause and think and be thankful.

Like, God, thank you so much that you created us with the ability to grow and provide food for the huge population that is in the world.

And I feel like that also can help spark a healthy like relationship with like food.

When you are thankful for how that got to your table, instead of just feeling entitled, like I should have all organic or, you know, something like that.

Like we often like forget like, okay, the processes behind how these things got to our table and just slowing down and just being thankful for that.

And so something that I've been more mindful of is like being aware of like how much like social media can fuel that dissatisfaction and needing to kind of take a break from it from times and just intentionally choosing to find things that like, Lord, I'm thankful for this.

I'm thankful for that.

And, you know, with my kids, oftentimes we'll be sat at the table and I'm like, okay, three things from today.

What are you most thankful for from today?

And so, you know, they're six, eight and two.

So, you know, it's something feasible for them to do at this stage.

So that's how we're trying to foster.

Or if I'm noticing my kids, like, asking for things more, and they're like, I want this.

And then at my birthday, I want that and this and that and that.

I try to slow down and say, okay, let's talk again.

What are we thankful for?

What do we have right now that God has provided for, let's say, three things.

And that's something that's been good for our family to kind of refocus that again on thankfulness.

I can relate to that, Kathleen.

It's, you know, part of it, it's recognizing what we're grateful for and how the culture around us can shift like our gratitude, maybe in some ways that are positive and some ways that are less and like having kind of a pulse check on that.

So I can definitely resonate with that.

And I definitely feel that that call to emulating that for our kids.

There's kind of two main ways that we've done that in our family.

One is that in the evening, before the kids go to bed, we all pray, all six of us together, and we rotate with who leads.

So like sometimes it's my six-year-old leading, sometimes it's my 12-year-old, sometimes it's my husband or I.

And they'll say, hey, what are you grateful for from today?

And we always go around and say that.

And then what do you want to pray for?

And so even when we have friends or family over and maybe we're putting our kids to bed, we'll incorporate that in with people who are in our home as well, too, of just like, hey, maybe today was a really hard day.

But maybe today was a better day.

So making them pause and reflect and then leading with that before the request of, well, I just want God to do this.

So they're having to think about that.

And it's fun to see how as their faith has grown, just what they choose to say and recognize, whether it's I'm grateful for my family, or I'm grateful that I got to see my friends today, or I got to do this activity, or just to kind of start that habit young so that it's something that builds up over time.

And then one other thing that we've done as well is that we have a little gratitude box and we keep it down in our family room space and that every Sunday evening, we would get out a sticky note and write something on there from the week that we were here for and then put it into the box.

And then when New Year hit, we would get those out and then each of them would pull out something one at a time so the box would fill up and it's clear and you could see all the different colors, stickies that are folded, and then we would read them, whether it was our own or not.

And then we could just go through and think, wow, this year, like, yeah, we had prayed for that and God answered that prayer and, oh, that was a really hard thing.

But like, we can see threads of gratitude through it.

And so kind of the like moment to moment moments to pause, as well as like kind of the zoom in and zoom out is something that we've been trying to incorporate a little bit.

So good.

I love that.

Yeah.

We do something similar at night where, you know, we pray with each of our boys before they go to bed and just, we always start our prayers with Thanksgiving because that's what the Bible tells us to do.

And I feel like that's helped shape them.

We did that a lot through the pandemic, especially when there was just a lot of anger and frustrations and complaining.

And it was just like, thank you, God, that we get this extra time together.

But I feel like something I try to challenge myself to personally is to just take the hardest thing in my life, whatever that is, or most frustrating part of my day.

And I try to find gratitude in that, which, oh, it's not always easy, right?

And I remember the start of the semester, I had a lot of challenges with some things that I was building for my classes, and it was like super frustrating.

And I was just kind of like, oh, I can't do this again.

And like getting into a really negative mindset.

And then I just started to pray about it and started to be thankful for it.

And my perspective started shifting to like, God, thank you that I get to speak into these students' lives.

Thank you that you're giving me this opportunity.

Thank you that I get to walk alongside them and that I get to speak your truth and in education as well.

And just shifting that thought and that mindset.

And I feel like we've even had these moments, like through really hard family things that we've gone through.

Like one of my sons was going through some really hard health things.

And I remember just like feeling hopeless about it and like, what do I do?

And I was on my way to the hospital, and I just remember praying about it.

And I just remember thinking like, thank you, God, that we live in a place that we have hospitals, and thank you that we have doctors that are here, and thank you that we have health insurance, and just thank you for providing for this, and thank you for providing community around us to walk through this with us.

And it just turned into a thankful prayer, even though that wasn't like intentional in the moment, but it was just like starting to create these habits of like, really, it's all about our perspectives and really like getting our minds set on the right things.

So.

Yeah, I'll just, I wanted to share something real quick as you were speaking.

I was just thinking about even too, like how just God being the foundation of our thankfulness, like it's like building our house on a rock.

I think about the concept of gratitude and culture is very different, and we center our gratitude around God because otherwise, if it's not rooted in anything, like what are we, we're just speaking out words of like thankfulness, and but it's not like rooted in the person of God.

And I just think, you know, when like the verse John 14, 27 says, peace, I leave with you my peace, I give to you.

Not as the world gives, do I give to you.

Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

And I just think there's so much just, yeah, there's just peace in that, that like, when we focus on like who God is, then, you know, he's the one that gives us that peace.

He gives us that thankfulness in our hearts.

That's like, okay, God, you are, you are the same yesterest and today.

And, and just how we can just be thankful for that.

Like, thank you Lord, that you are the consistent factor in my life when everything else changes around me.

Like your peace remains because you remain.

And so I think just like having our thankfulness, yeah, just kind of like rooted in, in the truth of like God is who he says he is.

And I think that's just so different to the world because things constantly change.

And you think about if you put your hope, even look at like, I'm not getting into politics, but if you put your hope in a political system, it's like that's going to ever change.

And, you know, and then you're not, all of a sudden you're going to not be thankful.

Like, what is your focus on as a believer in Christ?

Like, our focus is on, our hope is on the person of Jesus, not in the changing things of culture, but in him alone.

And that's where we can remain thankful.

You know, we have different perspectives, often as Christians, and how things should be run in the world and stuff.

And, you know, we'll find ourselves grumbling about like, why are things done this way or that way, like in culture?

But it's like, if we stay focused on unity in Christ and having Jesus as the Solid Rock Foundation, we find unity in that thankfulness that, oh, thank you that you don't change.

You know, I just thought about that.

And I think when I've seen fellow believers in Christ finding things that they're kind of maybe grumbling about, like on social media, I'm like, okay, where have we lost our perspective?

Where do we need to get back on track of like, what's the main thing here?

What's the most important thing here?

And Jesus is at the center of that.

So I don't know.

That just came to mind, because I think that's something that in culture often steals our thankfulness, is when we're focusing on something else that is not God.

And so I just wanted to share that little tidbit.

So I think that could be helpful for some mamas who are feeling overwhelmed at life right now, and with the political climate or things going on in the world, it's like recenter yourself again.

God is who he says he is.

He's faithful.

He's loving.

He's trustworthy.

And finding peace in that again.

So that's so good.

It reminds me, I preached at a chapel once on gratitude, and it was that concept, and it was the concept of your gratitude reshifts your perspective to see things, how God sees them, and to remember who God is.

And I really, truly believe that that is a key to unlocking peace.

I feel like that that brings peace to our situations and to our minds, and I feel like there's such a connection with that.

So, you know, mamas, we just want to encourage you today that wherever you're at, whether you're struggling with anxiety or you're just worried or you're focused on things that are happening, that we encourage you to just find one thing that you're thankful for today.

And it doesn't have to be like this formal process, but maybe just write one thing that you're thankful for.

Or if you want more of a challenge, try to find the hardest thing of your day and find a piece of gratitude in that.

And we just believe that as you start to do this and as you start to build these new habits and take steps to becoming better, it's going to overflow in your kids and in your family.

And there's going to be shifts that happen.

And it's not perfection.

We're all working on it.

We're still working on it on a day-to-day basis, but we encourage you to take one small step to becoming better today.

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